Other than the death of a parent, divorce is the most devastating blow that families can suffer. Since roughly half of all first marriages end in divorce, children are also directly impacted by their parents' divorce. Their reactions vary by gender and age at the time of divorce, but studies going back as far as 80 years indicate that divorce can have a lasting negative effect on the children of divorce. They are likely to feel insecure, experience loss of self-esteem, act out in antisocial ways, do poorly in school or even drop out, have difficulties relating to their peers, become runaways or be incarcerated, and be unable to form stable adult relationships.
These effects can be mitigated if the parents will cooperate to put the best interests of their children first. Conflicts are inevitable, but how they are handled can make all the difference. Parents should avoid arguing in front of their children if at all possible. They should avoid name-calling and blaming, stick to one issue instead of dragging in every issue they've ever had, and above all, not let the argument degenerate into physical violence. After an argument, they should apologize to one another in front of their children and be civil to show the children that conflicts can be peacefully resolved.
Children do best when their custodial parent is a strong authority figure and when their parents can agree to maintain the same set of rules in both households regarding such issues as bedtime, forbidden foods, and appropriate activities, such as which TV programs they are not allowed to watch. This gives children a sense of continuity and security. It's also important for parents not to make negative comments about each other or use the children as messengers between them.
When parents decide to end their marriage, often times children are left having to choose sides or share their time between both parents. Parents need to keep in mind that their children are the victims, and that they should always put their needs first, which isn't always easy to do. Also, remember that both of you will have a common tie for many years to come, depending on the age of your child(ren).
Generally speaking, when parents divorce the mother will more than likely spend Mother's Day and the father, Father's Day, unless the courts say otherwise. Other major holidays and summer break may be shared between both parties. In a perfect world, divorced parties would see eye to eye when it comes to their children but that is rarely the case. Often times, children may have emotional issues that need to be dealt with as well.
In order to keep things civil, try to come to an agreement ahead of time. It is in the best interest of the child(ren) to be flexible and take into consideration your child's feelings as well. Another thing to keep in mind is that children often times will try to play one parent against the other and it is up to you to prevent this from happening. One last thing for parents to remember is that when their child is in their custody, they continue to parent just as you both agreed on early on. Remember, your parenting values should go unchanged even though your marriage didn't work out.
The problem with being a celebrity is that they are always in the public eye, so when they get divorced everybody wants to know all the details. Allegations of adultery have always been around in celebrity divorces, but now we also hear about emotional, physical, drug, and alcohol abuse. Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards had one of nastiest divorces that Hollywood has seen in a long time.
After three years of what looked like a happy marriage, Denise filed a petition for divorce in 2005, accusing Charlie of cheating on her, she said that he was addicted to prostitutes and pornography, and that he hit her. Even though their divorce was final in 2006, Denise Richards decided in 2008 to ask the courts for an emergency court order to keep Charlie from seeing their kids. Denise says that there is a very serious problem in Sheen's home, that could negatively affect the children. Liza Minnelli and David Gest filed for divorce after only two years into the marriage, and their breakup got ugly even before divorce papers were filed.
David sued Liza for 10 million alleging that his wife had beat him up so bad during an alcoholic rage, that he suffered long-term neurological damage and severe headaches. Liza counter sued, alleging Gest of stealing around two million when he produced a few of her shows. During the last four years, more allegations came from both sides, Liza said that Gest tried to poison her, David claims Liza hid the fact that she had herpes from him until after the ceremony. Finally in early 2007, Liza and David stopped fighting and decided to go with a no-fault divorce.
In 2005, there were approximately 2,230,000 marriages in the United States. In the previous year before this year, there were approximately 2,280,000 marriages. The lowest divorce rate occurred in 2005 and was actually the lowest since 1970. According to reports, the highest divorce rate occurred in Nevada during 2004. Arkansas followed in close to second for that same year. About 59% of Americans are married. The truth is, people are more afraid of divorce than they are of marriage.
Reports and statistics from the United Nations are showing results of an increasing amount of divorce rates throughout many countries. Some of these countries include England, Asia and now even Korea. Korea's is now ranked as the third highest in divorce rate in the world. It is reported that in the last 10 years, divorces have increased by about three times in Korea. Many say the reason for the divorces occurring in Korea are due to disagreements between the wife and mother-in-law. Another indicating factor concludes that the increasing amount of divorce is due to the changing of values.
The closest estimation of American divorce is held at about 50%. Research shows that about 40 to 50 percent of marriages in America will end in divorce. It is further reported, by the Discovery Channel, that married couples who have children in the marriage will be less likely to divorce. According to sociologists, they believe that the reason for many divorces is to due to childless marriages.
The costs of a divorce vary widely, depending on such factors as what kind of assets you own jointly and separately and how much they're worth, whether there are children involved, and if the divorce is amicable or adversarial. Especially if the divorce is acrimonious, hire the best attorney you can afford, someone willing to fight for your legal rights. If at all possible, try to come to a private agreement with your soon-to-be-ex about the division of assets, child support and custody arrangements. Having your lawyers hammer out these details can cost thousands of dollars at the rate of a few hundred dollars per hour each, plus court costs and other legal fees.
In a custody battle, you may end up paying for psychiatric evaluations of your children, expert witnesses, or a court-appointed Guardian Ad Litem to advocate for your children's best interests. A large accumulation of assets or debts may require the services of a real estate appraiser, pension fund expert or a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst.
Other costs associated with divorce can include moving expenses, and the physical and mental toll that the divorce process can take on individuals. Depression, high blood pressure and heart disease are common side effects that can end up costing tens of thousands of dollars. Substance abuse has its own costs when trying to escape from an unpleasant reality. Do everything in your power to take good care of yourself during and after a divorce. Get enough sleep, eat healthy meals and get enough exercise. Keep a journal or vent to trusted friends to release the negative energy in non-destructive ways.
